


Candy or the Avengers Worst Idea to Date

by JustAround



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Candy, Halloween, This is ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAround/pseuds/JustAround
Summary: Before Captain America: Civil War, but no specific timeline other then that.





	Candy or the Avengers Worst Idea to Date

**Author's Note:**

> Before Captain America: Civil War, but no specific timeline other then that.

They still hid candy when Thor was around.

It had started innocently, as these things do. What better way to get good publicity than to have the Avengers host a Halloween Party? Not a ‘Tony Stark’ type of Halloween party but geared more towards children, set during the day, and full of games, treats, and very minor (and silly) tricks. No one could remember now whose idea it was; Tony was a party boy at heart, true, but the not-dead Phil was typically the one to worry about how they came across in the media. Though Pepper was always an option - any way to show the world a different side of Tony was a positive in her book. And there was always Steve. Steve who grew up without many of the material goods that others did, Steve who had seen a darker time than the others could understand. They wouldn’t be surprised if Steve was the one with the idea.

The originator of the idea would never really be remembered and really, that was not truly important to the ‘no candy’ rule. Turns out, Thor never had candy before. That sort of thing was not found in Asgard, for really, what good is candy to a land of warriors fighting Frost Giants? The entire concept of Halloween was one he had difficulty understanding as parties in Asgard usually revolved around a variety of different foods, alcohols, and bragging (and fighting) for victor’s rights.

That was not done at children’s Halloween parties, the others had stressed. Over and over. It was for games - apple bobbing still puzzled him - and activities, and not-really tricks, and costumes, and of course, candy.

The party planning went on for weeks, with all of them giving suggestions, all of them stopping at the store for last minute necessities - no, Tony, the expensive alcohol was not a party necessity - and genuinely seeming excited for the event. Even Natasha smiled a bit at the mention of the event, which was enough for Tony to deem the idea a success.

The day of the party dawned with clear skies and crisp fall air. Two whole floors of the tower - opened to create almost one giant room, thank you Tony for the wonder of technology - were decorated with pumpkins and jack o’lanterns one very table, cobwebs and fake spiders on the ceilings, giant skeletons that moved when you walked by near the doors. A giant table in the middle complete with a laughing witch flying on a broomstick as a centerpiece drew awed-gazes from all the children who arrived.

Pepper was the one to claim coordination duties; after all, if someone could keep Tony Stark somewhat in line, she could handle a children’s Halloween party. Different activities were set up around each of the Avengers. Clint was at the far side of the room, patiently showing kids of all ages how to shoot a (suction) bow, cheering on anyone brave enough to shoot against Hawkeye, praising anyone who hit - or even missed - the target. The rest of the team, save Nat, were surprised at his patience with the children, his ability to keep their attention. She only gave them her secret smile when they asked about his skills.

In another corner of the room sat Steve, showing his shield to all the children, letting them take pictures of themselves holding it; his smile was almost as big as theirs, seeing the joy they took in getting to hold Captain America’s shield. He supervised a coloring contest; the winner received a poster drawn specially for them by Steve. All the non-winners also received smaller pictures as well, and Captain America spent more time drawing than he had in years. His hand was numb by the end of the day, but he never complained.

He would never complain about bringing that much joy to other’s lives.

Natasha claimed the bean-bag toss, having found the biggest pumpkin in the city to carve a jack o’lantern out of, and was able to demonstrate how to toss the bags into the pumpkin with perfect accuracy. Some of the children did not know what to make of the Black Widow, though they all agreed her name was the best for Halloween. The Best. Her habit of sometimes giving encouragement in different languages was exciting for all the children, and would demand for her to teach them.

Even her teammates were impressed at her breadth of languages.

Tony wondered how many more she could swear in.

The children did not really know how to take Bruce, not really understanding how the quiet, mild-mannered older man with glasses could turn into a giant green Hulk. He was the one to lead Halloween-themed story time. Rhodey was next, not really comfortable with the gaggle of children around, helped Phil run the refreshment stand, making sure each and every child ended up with Iron Patriot themed cups and glasses.

He’s still not sure how that happened, Tony. Really.

Tony, well, Tony managed to create a miniature version of his Iron Man suit, one that could adjust for the children to try on. It wasn’t really an Iron Man suit - too little metal and machinery - but it was enough to give the kids a chance to float above the ground just for a few seconds. Even that small amount of time was enough for the kids to be over the moon at the idea, getting their pictures taken the outfit, proudly showing their parents what they got to do at the best Halloween party ever!

And that left Thor.

Thor who still didn’t really understand the concept of Halloween. Thor who had been in charge of passing out gift bags and candy to the children, since his idea of having them try to lift his hammer was vetoed by just about everyone.

Thor who thought it would be the greatest of ideas to taste some of the candy in the gift bags himself.

Soon, all the kids were following the God of Thunder, wanting him to take a turn with them at the boy and arrow station as he boasted of the archers in Asgard (though was sure to tell Clint none could rival his skill), laughing as he tried to color a picture of his own and failed as he broke every crayon he touched, cheered as Natasha stole the bean-bags from him as he insisted he needed to use all his strength to make a clean shot, scolded him as he interrupted Bruce’s stories with wild tales of his own, and giggled when he tried to convince Tony he could fit in the child-sized Iron Man suit.

They did, however, keep all their drinks and snacks away from Thor.

Each new station meant another bag of candy and chocolates for Thor to try. He was on Earth to see how the non-Asgards lived, after all, and that did mean trying new things. All the new things. M&Ms, Hershey’s chocolate, Baby Ruths, Reese’s Cups, Mounds bars, Almond Joy, DOTS, Milky Way, Snickers, Nerds, Crunch, Starburst, and everything in between. All of them were tested by the God of Thunder, and each new one gave him a new burst of energy, a new bit of excitement to add to the already excitable children.

He decided Snickers were the best.

Soon, Thor was running on a sugar high to rival any of the children, with Maria on strict orders to lockdown his hammer any possible way he can, with Jarvis telling Pepper everytime Thor came near a bowl of candy, with each Avengers making sure to keep an eye out when he neared their station, to block off the candy with any means possible.

The Avengers had been prepared to deal with sugared-up children. They had not expected to deal with Thor on a sugar high.

His boasting grew louder, his actions grew more frenzied, his laughter boomed throughout the room, and the children loved it. They begged him to see how many of them he could hold at a time, gave him the small bars of mini-Snickers to see how many he could fit in his mouth at once. They encouraged him as much as the others discouraged the actions. 

In the end, it was Natasha who dealt with him.

The games were beginning to show the wear from his strength - her jack o’lantern had a hole in the back, half the crayons at the coloring station were broken in two, nobody could reach some of the suction arrows that had somehow ended up on the ceiling, somehow books were missing entire pages. Tony’s station faired better but that’s only because Dum-E was there to provide a distraction to Thor.

Even Rhodey’s refreshment cups and plates had seen better days.

It went down like this.

As the party wound down, and Thor continued winding up, Natasha told the children waiting at her station to wait one moment, please, Thor needed a little bit of a break. With one fluid motion, she moved towards the unsuspecting god and jumped into the air, her legs hooking around his throat. The attack was so sudden, so unexpected, that Thor had no means to prepare for the motion and he staggered and fell to the ground, his head hitting the ground and knocking himself out.

So sorry, Natasha said, but gods of thunder needed sleep when they got that over-enthusiastic. Don’t try that with your friends or siblings. Asgardians had much harder heads than those of us on Earth.

Soon, the last of the stragglers left with their treat bags, their coloring pages, their pictures, the many photographs they had gotten over the course of the party, and of course goodies from all of the different Avengers. They had souvenirs and stories to tell their families and friends and overall, it had been a wild success.

Even so.

To this day, no one lets Thor around candy. Ever. Under any circumstances. Sometimes, even gods don’t know their candy limit.


End file.
